Unpublished drafts and a bit of movement.

I cannot tell you how many times I have come to write a blog and either leave a post as a draft and never hit publish for whatever reason, or just can't even find the words to say.

Today, I'm  publishing a couple of those drafts, They are part of the story and I don't want to leave them out. This particular post was a great reminder to myself since I'm pretty much feeling the same exact way today...one month later.

Thursday, August 20th 

Last time I posted, Ind*a was in the process of making some major changes. Those changes have supposedly been implemented, but things are slow going. Big changes like this will take time to get everything running smoothly. When these changes are in place, they will be wonderful for the adoption process. It is extremely encouraging to know that Ind*a is working to put their precious children in forever families.

However, we have been waiting in silence since May 4th. Our sweet P's medical documents were not available on the database when we were matched with her. Usually, when you are matched with a child, you at least get to see electronic versions of these documents. We have nothing.

I am starting to struggle in this wait. People around me are making progress. They're moving forward with various approvals or steps in the process and I can't help but wonder, "Why not us?" Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for their movement, because no matter what, movement is movement and that is SO good for all of us, but it's still hard. Doubt, worry, fear, and impatience, are all trying to creep in. But then I remember those are not from the Lord. He brings me peace, patience, joy and hope (among other things).

This morning my alarm woke me up read my devotional entitled, "This is Not the End". I am convinced that it was written for me. Don't you love when that happens?!

"Are you living in the silent in-between?"

"Silence doesn't necessarily mean a setback. Maybe, just maybe we're being set up to witness a miracle."

"In the silence, wait well. Pray. Trust. Mourn. There's no shame in that. But keep hoping. Sunday, your Sunday is coming."

"Can you think of an instance in you life when waiting on God's perfect timing proved his plans were better than yours?"

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I never finished that post, but man, I needed to be reminded of the words that I wrote a month ago. I know God's timing is perfect. I know in my heart that He already has everything planned and that our little sweet P will come home when God has planned, but I struggle. Honestly, I wanted her home yesterday! :)

September 1st we received some good news from our coordinator. One of the documents that we have been waiting for was uploaded to the database! We were able to view a very limited medical file electronically which allowed us to officially accept the match! A few days later we were told that the original documents were actually on their way from Ind*a. 

I was ecstatic. Finally after all these months of waiting we would have her original documents and be able to move forward in this process...

The following post never got published either...because I am just terrible at blogging! This one I wrote in honor of our girl's third birthday:

September 17th, 2012

I don't know what I was doing on this particular day in 2012, but on the other side of the world, another woman gave birth to a precious little girl. The little girl that will call me mommy.

This past week my mind and emotions have been on quite the little rollercoaster ride. I've been thinking about P's birthmother a lot. I don't know who she is, but she is most certainly being lifted up in prayer. I wonder if she too, is thinking about the same little girl. Maybe we share the same thoughts. "What is her personality like, what does her voice sound like, does she smile, is she happy, healthy, what is she doing right now, etc..."

I'm sure September 17th was an emotional day for her birthmom (birthparents?). P was born with a medical condition that required surgery as a newborn (right now we are not able to give too many details about her, or her medical condition).

However, here's the truth that I do know about that day. 

I know that God knit her together in her mother's womb. Every. Single. Part.

The scary parts.

The beautiful parts. 

The hard parts.

I know that little sweet P is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I know that God was and still is holding her in the palm of his hand. 

I know that God has a purpose for her life.

I know that God has set her apart.

Today our little princess turns THREE years old. That in itself is a celebration. 

So, Happy Birthday to our little Maya sweet P.

We love you already!

This weekend we will celebrate her birthday with our family and have Indian food from our favorite restaurant! 

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Our celebration this past weekend was great. Someday, we will show her pictures from the 3rd birthday party that we had for her before she came home. We hope she will eventually understand just how loved she is.

Now that you're all caught up, today, we are still waiting for her original paperwork and I am still struggling with being impatient, but that's nothing new! ;) We have been told that they are on the way, so I will just have to trust and wait...

I am praying that BIG things happen this week.