I'm notorious for using this blog like a diary. I'll write and write posts because I don't want to forget how I felt at certain points in the process, but often they get left as drafts because I either never finished my thought, or because I'm waiting for the right approval before I share more details about our process. Of course, there are quite a few details that I won't be able to share until we have our girl in our arms, so you'll have to wait to hear about those!
But, I want to begin sharing some of these stories because they are such wonderful reminders of how faithful God is and how much He has sustained us through this journey.
I can't believe that I wrote these posts so long ago!
::April 30, 2015::
After 12 weeks of waiting, our home study was approved by Ind*a! This meant that we were finally ale to be matched with a child!
Thursday night at my women's Bible study, as I was sharing the excitement of our approval with my sweet sisters in Christ, I also asked them to pray for a few specific things:
- That we would be matched quickly.
- That we would be open to the daughter God has for us, even if her special needs were different than we expected.
- And of course, my constant prayer to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and for patience.
On the way home from Bible study, Stephen Curtis Chapman's song, Something Beautiful was playing on the radio and though I've heard that song so many times, the chorus stuck with me and was playing on repeat in my head. Seriously. All. Night. Long.
"And God says,
I'm gonna turn it into something different,
I'm gonna turn it into something good.
I'm gonna take all the broken pieces
And make something beautiful like only I could.
So put it all in the hands of the Father
Give it up, give it all over to
The only one who can turn it into
Something beautiful,
Something really beautiful."
At that point, I was thinking, "Yes, God really does have a reason as to why everything took SO long in the beginning of our process. There is a reason our approval took over 2 months. He's got this. We WILL get our daughter, maybe not on our own timeline, but when has His timeline failed us? Never!"
::May 1, 2015::
Friday morning our family coordinator sent an email just checking to see how close we are to finishing up our dossier. (Which by the way, TWO of the three documents we needed came in the mail the day before, so YAY for answered prayers!) I let her know that we were pretty close to being done with it.
A little less than an hour later, around 9:00 AM my phone rings and I notice it's our agency. I picked it up assuming our caseworker wanted to discuss what to do once we're ready to send our dossier to her.
Instead, this regular phone call, turned in the THE phone call!!!! Just ONE day after we had finally been approved to receive a referral!
I'll never forget the words she said:
"I have a little girl that I'd like you to consider. I think she'd be a perfect match for your family."
She began to describe the little girl known as "P", who was two and a half years old . After describing some delays we might encounter due to the particular state she's in, the need for two trips (one for court, and another for pick up), and some serious unknowns about her special need, she asked if we would like to see some pictures of her.
Of course?! Why wouldn't we? What an answered prayer! A potential referral after only a day of being approved in the system?! Pinch me!!
What a blessing to finally open that email and see not one, but FOUR amazing pictures of this precious girl...one even being a picture of her as a newborn baby! Let me tell you, she is SO beautiful. We were pretty much in love with this girl from the start. When Mark saw her picture for the first time he immediately said "that's our girl!" My emotions went from extreme giddiness to fear. You see, we were given no information about this sweet girl's special need other than a brief, obvious description. No why, no diagnosis, no medical report, no child study, nothing. It was slightly terrifying...but at the same time, we knew in our hearts she is the daughter God had for us.
We decided to take the weekend to really pray about her. To be honest, for a short time I struggled with the known delays we would face due to the fact that she's in a state that's known to be much slower. All I wanted was to bring home our daughter as quickly as possible. The Lord really revealed my own selfishness in that. This whole journey to a third child has NOT been on my own timeline, but I can say with complete confidence that God has worked everything out for HIS good in HIS own time. The other immediate hesitation was her special need and the lack of medical information pertaining to it. Seriously, we had four pictures, and a name. That was it.
::May 2, 2015::
I got to spend the morning at Junk in the Trunk Vintage Market with my best friend, who also happens to be a nurse. We spent the morning talking about little P and her special need. She helped me so much that day. So much back and fourth, so many whatifs, still so many unknowns. But as we talked, I began to feel at peace. I really just felt that the Lord was calling us to step out in faith and say "yes" to this little girl. To trust that He would work out all the unknowns. After talking and praying, Mark and I decided to email our family coordinator and asked her to match us with P. She was ours and we would fight for her no matter what.
::May 4, 2015::
My phone rang at 6:05am and I used my best "I've been awake for an hour already voice" to answer when I saw that it was our family coordinator. She informed us that we were officially matched to P! She reminded us of the long wait that was ahead of us due to the region she lives in. So, here we go! We're buckling up for what I'm sure will be a huge rollercoaster of emotions and some serious practice in patience as we wait for our P to come home.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Psalms 27:14
