First month of forever.

I know, I know.

I am AWFUL at this blogging stuff. The last time I updated the blog was in September. We found out that we did not pass our first court hearing and were waiting for our second hearing on the 26th of September.

Well...I have some catching up to do, but in case you didn't know...our sweet Maya Pallavi is finally HOME!! Back in the beginning of September, I really thought that we would go another Christmas without our daughter, but the Lord made a way for her to be home before Thanksgiving!

We arrived in Phoenix on November 20, 2016 at 12pm after being in India for a month!

We've had an awesome first month home! We're finding our new "normal" and she is adjusting better than we ever could have expected. Yes, there are extremely hard moments, but this adoption process is continuing to remind of the grace that we can extend because of the grace we are so freely given.



My amazing sister in love took these photos for us on Thankgiving! Never have to hold a picture frame again! It's still so surreal to see her in our family photos! We are so very thankful.

Our little Christmas blessing. We prayed for this. God is so faithful!

Things to remember:

• You weigh 33lbs. 4oz. and are 40 inches tall! You've gained about 2 lbs! 
• Your goofy dance moves.
• How absolutely terrified of the dogs you were...it took 8 days for you to be OK with them. You're still not so sure about Miles. Molly is becoming your little puppy pal! You like Mitzy...Mitzy is afraid of you! 
• You have had your share of meltdowns, but are calmed by rocking in the glider with mommy. Usually, at the end, you open up about your past. You love talking about Babies Home and all your friends there. 
• You learned how to how to pedal a tricycle.
• You're learning to speak in phrases and short sentences. You understand so much of what we say to you!
• You love music and dancing
• You are very expressive. You have the best facial expressions!
• We ordered your first pair of glasses.
• How you ask to be carried in the Tula carrier. 
• You love your baby cousins Edison and Lylah.
• You sing "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jingle Bells".

Likes:

• Minnie Mouse
• Eating (Seriously, you can eat man-sized portions of tacos and spaghetti...you also like pizza, carrots, apples, bananas, oatmeal, salmon, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and potato chips. You LOVE chips.  )
• Sleeping (you sleep from 7:30pm-7:30am!)
• Princesses and playing dress up
• Playdough and painting
• Trolls
• Playing outside
• Dancing and listening to music
• Playing with your brothers and their friends! You love all the Nerf guns, superheros, and toy cars that we have here! ;)

Dislikes:

• Cheese
• Not getting your way
• Sweet breakfast food like cinnamon rolls, muffins, or donuts (we're working on it! LOL!)
• When other people have shoes on in the house and you don't!

And as if that wasn't enough picture overload, here's a little slideshow of our first month home! 

And if not, He is still good.

Sometimes things just don't go the way we want.

Sometimes you can pray all the prayers, believe all the things, have all the hope...

And still find yourself in a place of disappointment.


This is where we are after our court hearing on Wednesday. A familiar place of sadness, disappointment, and more waiting.

Unfortunately, we did not pass in one hearing, and our next hearing is scheduled for September 26th. A little over 3 weeks from now which seems like an eternity, but I know it will come quickly.

Today, our family coordinator offered a bit of encouragement. "It's not the movement that we had hoped for, but it's movement, and any movement is still good." She's right. She will come home. It may not be in my timing, but someday we'll finally get the call to book plane tickets and hotels. Until then, we just have to keep trusting, praying, and hoping.

The crazy thing is late that night on the 30th, something in my heart knew that things wouldn't go the way I wanted. The same experience happened on the way to my OB appointments where we found out that we were miscarrying a few years ago. As I scrolled on Facebook, these two posts were literally one right after the other. God really used these words to comfort me, even before the hurt began...

"Really, right now: you're going to be okay... 

There is a plan & there is a purpose & there is a God in heaven who didn’t just ink you onto the palm of His hands but etched your name right into Himself with nails & He’s hasn’t just got your number, He’s got your heart. He sees you, hidden in Him, & you aren’t ever forgotten because God can’t forget those right in Him.

His perfect love absorbs all your fears tonight & His perfect grace carries all your burdens, & your story is a happily ever after because Christ bought your happily ever after --- so you *always know how this story ends*: 

You’re going to be okay."

-Ann Voskamp

"..sometimes it's ridiculously hard to know how to live through the stuff we're facing & you know, maybe this is it:

"Be cheerful -- no matter what; pray -- all the time; thank God -- no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." 1Thess5:18

So maybe there's our map through our Wednesday -- we will crush our complaints with thanks -- we will not give in to cynicism, we will not give up to discouragement.

Let's be cheerful, prayerful, thankful -- to keep the day from becoming: awful.

Today's game changer: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for."

-Ann Voskamp

So, here were are yet again in another month of waiting. Please continue to lift our family up in prayer. We appreciate your prayers, hugs, encouragement, and support more than you'll know. I'm praying that September 26th will be our final court hearing.

"But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." 

Daniel 3:18

Unexpected answers in the wilderness

The past couple weeks, our process has been heavy on my heart. The pain of the wait and silence were really getting to me.

The Lord was really speaking to me through His word, sermons at church, and through song. Everything that I was reading or hearing seemed to have a common theme.

Wilderness.

In Numbers I'm reading about the Israelites and how they were so hopeful to move to a land full of God's goodness. Their travels and wanderings had lasted years, but God knew what he was doing. In his sovereignty, He allowed the Israelites to take this "scenic" desert route not only for their protection, but to learn from their experiences.

In church we're going through a series called Broken People, Big God where we spend time studying how God used broken people like Abraham, Samson, and this past week, Elijah. Elijah also had to pass through a painful season in the wilderness. Literally, God sent Elijah to the wilderness where he has to rely on the Lord to be fed by ravens, drink from a brook in a land during a drought, all while being alone. He literally had nothing to do but wait on God. And trust me (and Elijah), waiting is HARD. Eventually the brook dries up and God sends Elijah elsewhere. He ends up with a widow and her son and is put in yet another situation where he must  put his trust in what little resources the Lord provides. A small amount of flour and a little jar of oil. He has to have faith in God that they won't run out. God used Elijah's wilderness waiting to protect him, provide for him and sustain him, and prepare him for the next chapter (literally, 1 Kings chapter 18) in his life when he would need to stand up against the false prophets of Baal. 

A blog I had read about Elijah said, "Wilderness seasons are brutal. But God is powerfully at work in the 1 Kings 17 season of our lives."

God uses these wilderness situations. In the wilderness we can feel His presence, worship Him in a more authentic way, and have a clearer picture of what obedience looks like. Our faith is strengthened and our relationship with Him deepens.

My wilderness looks a bit different from the Isrealites or Elijah. I'm not part of a nomadic tribe wandering around in the desert, and I'm not relying on God for food and water via ravens and brooks. However, I can relate. We've been waiting for over a year with very little updates or answers about our girl. There really is no other way to describe this wait other than brutal. It just flat out stinks. We were matched with a 2.5 year old and she's about to turn 4 in a few months.

This Monday I posted a prayer request asking for BIG MOVEMENT on my Facebook page. So here's the update you've all been waiting for, though it's a bit unexpected.

Today our family coordinator called and let us know that we do NOT need to be present for our court date. Basically, our case will continue like a "typical" Ind!an adoption. So we don't have to take two trips anymore! We do have to send yet another power of attorney document (yes, another) tomorrow to our agency and once that arrives back in Ind!a, we should be able to be registered for court and find out when our first hearing will be. We are now praying for an early July court date. We really don't have any details on how long the court process will take. We were given estimates of anywhere from 2-6 hearings over a course of 2-4 months. Hopefully we'll get more details in the next few weeks.

So there it is. Our unexpected answer. Just a reminder that God is always in control. Even when we think things are going to happen in a specific way, he allows us to see his sovereign hand in every situation. I'm at peace because I know that this was not unexpected to God. It's already passed through His hand.

Please continue the prayers. We felt them and appreciate them so much! 

May 4th

Today is the day one year ago that we were officially matched in the system with our little sweet P.

We knew the moment we saw her face on a Friday morning, that she was ours. Despite the unknowns, (and there were A LOT) we made the decision to email our family coordinator Saturday night and request to be matched with her. By 6am Monday, May 4th, 2015 my phone was ringing. Our family coordinator was calling to let us know that we were officially matched with P.

What a year it's been. I feel like we're on this crazy rollercoaster and we have NO idea when the ride will end. But it's also an amazing rollercoaster, and I feel blessed to be on this ride called adoption. The highs and lows have taught me so much about Jesus. His longsuffering patience. His unwavering love. His pure goodness.

We stepped out in blind faith this day one year ago. We felt a peace that only God could bring to our hearts in this situation. A peace that allowed us to move forward without any real information other than 4 pictures.

Today, one year after our match, we are waiting for a court date to attend. This is where a judge in Ind*a will legally make her what we've known her to be for a year now. Our precious, chosen, daughter. A Salonga.


Here is how you can be praying for us:

• We ask that you pray for our attorney. We won't share her name with you, but God knows who she is. Please pray that she will receive our affidavit and register our case in court so we can have a date set. 

• Please be in prayer for our court date. We are boldly praying for a June date. 

• Pray that our judge would be for adoption and would grant us verbal and written orders in record time. 

• Pray for our last moments of a family of four. That all of our hearts would be prepared for this new transition to a daughter and a little sister. 

• Please continue to pray for P. Pray for her little heart. What she has known for 3.5 years is about the come to an end. The loss and pain that she will experience is so huge. Pray that we would be able to be a source of comfort for her and we could help her to handle her grief. 

I'll leave you all with this picture of her. I could stare that those adorable little feet and that cute denim skirt all day! 

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Good news!

The past few weeks, I've really felt the many prayers that I know were being lifted up. I wasn't feeling as anxious or discouraged which was a huge improvement from a few weeks ago! Waiting for approval was always in the back of my mind, but I had gotten to the point where it wasn't consuming my thoughts. I knew we would eventually be approved and I was just going to have to be patient. 

So today when my phone rang at 6:59 am, I honestly expected it to be my mom calling me. To my surprise, I looked down to see our caseworkers name!

"Hi Megan! I have good news!! Your family is approved"

Ahhh, like music to my ears. My heart was beating faster, my palms were sweaty, and the grin on my face made my cheeks hurt! 

We found out that our home study must have accidentally been skipped over. It happens sometimes. I trust that God has a reason we were skipped over and that he is leading us on the perfect path to our daughter. 

So, what's next you ask? First, we're going to celebrate this small victory! Then, we buckle up and prepare for more (you guessed it) waiting.

We are now officially able to be matched. This can take anywhere from a few days to many months. Our caseworker will search the database for us every day to look for a match based on the special needs that we are open to. 

We can't even begin to tell you how excited we are to finally to see the face of our sweet little Maya. This girl is so loved. She is prayed for and talked about daily in our home and among our family members and dear friends. She even has some pretty little dresses waiting for her in her closet! :)

We ask that you'd continue to keep our family in your prayers and have some specific prayer requests:

• We are waiting for our USCIS approval and some documents getting apostilled in two different states. Please pray that we would get the approval and documents soon so we can finish our dossier. 
• Be praying for a referral to come to us quickly! You can also pray that we would be open to the daughter God has for us.
• Prayers for patience and peace during the waiting would definitely be appreciated. 
• Always pray for our little Maya. We may not know who she is, but God does. 

The week of updates!

What a wonderful week this has been for our family! 

A year ago I was signing a different tune. A year ago today, I was laying in a hospital bed getting ready to have a D&C when my doctor shared bad news about my high hcg levels which indicated a molar pregnancy. I shared a little about my miscarriage in a previous post if you missed it!

Each day I am  reminded of how much God has provided and has been there for me through my trials and my triumphs. As I look back on my year full of loss, sadness, fear, doctors appointments, and weekly methotrexate injections, I can't help but thank God for those experiences. 

They shaped me. They strengthened me. They led me here.

This week has been amazing. God has shown his faithfulness!

Mason started soccer on Tuesday which is something he has been looking forward to since we signed him up around Christmas time. He did great at his first practice and had a ton of fun meeting new friends and learning new skills! He's so excited for his next practice.

That same night we got an email from our social worker that we were officially certified to adopt! You guys, that news made our night! We had been waiting SO long to finally be finished with our home study so we could move forward with our adoption process.

God didn't stop with the news there! On Friday evening, we got an email from our family coordinator that just completely caught me off-guard. You see, we struggled to get to this point and it took MUCH longer than we had anticipated. Honestly, I was kind of expecting to have to deal with some of the same issues again due to some changes with our agency, but I feel like God provided us with reassurance that he has his hand in this process when we received her email.

The subject line made me giddy: Home study registered on C*RINGS!

As of right now, we are officially waiting for Ind*a to approve our home study. We were told this can take about 2 months. Once we have approval, we will be able to be matched! Yes, matched. Like, finally get to see a picture of our little girl and learn more about her! This is the stuff of my dreams! We are so thankful that God is paving a path to our daughter and we are so excited to see her precious face! 

In the meantime, we have some specific prayer requests:

• That our home study would be reviewed and approved in a quick and efficient manner
• That we could tackle the next portion of paperwork easily and be granted approval (I-800A)
• That we would have a quick referral process 

We truly believe in the power of prayer and appreciate each an everyone one of you for joining in on our journey!

Until next time!

garage sale, home study, and some thoughts...

I've neglected the blog, but I want to update you all on what's been going on with our adoption!

Our fundraiser garage sale in October was a HUGE success! So many people were beyond generous with their donations, and we had a great turn out! By God's grace, we were able to raise $2,026!! Yes, you read correctly! Isn't God amazing?! That money really helped us to take care of our home study fees.

It was not an easy task, but we know our sweet girl will be worth it! Sooo many hours were spent sorting, organizing, and pricing all the wonderful donations.We really couldn't have pulled off such a successful sale without the help of our amazing family and friends.

I really want to keep you all informed when it comes to our adoption journey. I've gone to write a blog post several times and just ended up not being able to find the words to say. I think I was struggling with the fact that NOTHING was happening. Documents were submitted, forms were filled out, paper was chased, but we just weren't able to make any progress on our home study since mid October. Home studies do NOT need to take this long, but from some reason ours is.

The problem is, I have this sense of urgency to get our daughter home (what adoptive mama doesn't?!). She needs a mommy and daddy to love her and care for her. She needs her big brothers to protect her. She needs the support of an extended family and friends who wants nothing but the best for her. But we are so. far. away. from getting to bring our girl home. I know we don't know her yet, or have a picture of her, but that still doesn't change the fact that there is an orphan somewhere in Ind*a who belongs in our family. I was frustrated when meetings were delayed and pushed out. Annoyed that meetings wouldn't get to happen until DECEMBER (which seemed so far away at the time). But even with all those feelings, I kept telling myself that God had a plan and I needed to trust him.

Well, December came and went and we had our individual interviews with our social worker on the 5th and our joint interviews on the 13th! It was nice to feel like we were actually making progress with our home study because I was starting to feel so disconnected from the whole process!

The dreaded home study really wasn't as scary as I had thought that it was going to be. The interviews were just going over a lot of what we had already written in our autobiographies. It was a lot about our childhood, our families, and some questions about parenting our marriage, and discussion about special needs we feel prepared to handle. Super easy! The home inspection was even easier. We walked though our house and she made sure everything was safe, we had a space for our daughter, and chemicals and medicine were out of reach from little hands. I of course went a little overboard with the cleaning and decorating to make sure our house had that "homey" feeling. The one thing that surprised us was that she wanted to check out our refrigerator to make sure we actually had food. Too bad it was due for a cleaning and re-organizing...oh well! The joint interview went great. Mark and I really enjoyed just talking to our social worker and letting her get to know us!

Now we are just waiting for her to finish writing our draft so it can be reviewed by our family coordinator and then by us. Once we review it, it will be submitted to the court for final approval. Originally, we were told that we should be complete with our home study and ready to move on to the next step by the end of January, but now due to some delays we're looking at February.

We expected delays going into this adoption...just not this early in the process. We're so antsy get to the point of waiting to be matched with our daughter. We are trusting in God that our time will be soon. I know in my heart that God is writing the most perfect adoption story, but head just wants in on the details now! ;)

Please pray with us that our home study will be finalized and approved so that we can move forward with our adoption! And you can also pray for a little patience, I know we'll need it!