"Why did you decide to adopt?"
Grab a cup of coffee, (or tea, or whatever you enjoy!) this may take a while to answer!
God called us to. The number one reason that I can give you is we truly feel that God is asking us to do this! We're simply being joyfully obedient with God's calling in our lives. From the time Mark and I began talking about our family and our future children, adoption has always been a part of our plans. We never knew the details or specifics, but who really does? We do know that God is writing our life story more beautifully and more perfectly than we ever could have imagined, so we'll continue to keep trusting that His ways really are much greater than our own!
Scripture. James 1:27 says we're all to care for orphans and widows. Whether that's sponsoring a child, being a foster parent, mission trips to orphanages, or helping out your next door neighbor who just happens to be a widow, it can look differently for each family. The Bible even talks about adoption. We believe that we have been adopted into God's family. What better way to represent the gospel of Christ than to take one of his children into our own family and love on them unconditionally, just like he loves us?
We desire more children.To really understand where we are coming from in this aspect, you would have to know that our journey to a third child has had a couple bumps in the road. Bumps that were devastating at the time, but bumps that ultimately allowed God to reveal more of His plan for our family.
I had pretty great pregnancies with both of our boys, so I never expected that future pregnancies would be any different! Our first attempt at number 3 ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I knew miscarriage was out there, and it was scary, but until it happens to you, you feel safe. Oh, how naive. My heart was broken in a way that I could have never imagined. I clung to God and his word like nobody's business during this time. We grieved about the loss of our baby, but ultimately trusted in God's plan for our family. We knew that he had more children in store for us, so when the time was right we tried again.
About 5 months later we were blessed with another pregnancy! I was excited for about 5 seconds...and then the fear set in. My mind was filled with "what ifs" and worry. But again, I knew that God had a plan, and my job was to trust and enjoy my pregnancy as best as I could! Worry doesn't come from the Lord right?! We went in for our first ultrasound appointment at 8 weeks full of excitement to see our little baby. As soon as the image projected on the screen, I knew something wasn't right. The horrifying words that I can still hear clear as day, "I'm so sorry, I can't see a baby." At that moment, my heart sank. How could this be happening again?? I'm supposed to see my baby today!! As the technician continued to take measurements, she mentioned that what she was looking at seemed abnormal and that she suspected a molar pregnancy, but wasn't quite sure. I was given a box a tissues and sent to another room to have an appointment with the midwife. I was placed on the roller coaster of uncertainty that sometimes comes along with miscarriage. Additional bloodwork, scans, appointments with a specialist...nobody quite knew what was going on, but I ended up being scheduled for a D&C a week and a half after that first ultrasound. At my follow up appointment, I got the devastating news that this was in fact, a complete molar pregnancy. There I was, grieving a second loss, and now that loss would be rubbed in my face with a weekly blood draw to monitor my hormone levels until they got down to zero (mine were over 150,000), and the possibility of a rare disease or even potential cancer (choriocarcinoma) both of which would require the use of chemotherapy drugs.
We were told to wait to try again for at least six months to a year due to GTD. I was blessed to have so many prayer warriors on my side, but it seemed like the prayers just weren't going the way we had planned. We prayed for a healthy pregnancy (ended up with another miscarriage). We prayed that it wouldn't be molar, or at least not a complete molar (and it was complete). We prayed that my levels would go down without the use of drugs (and I ended up with Gestational Trophoblastic Disease or GTD and 8 weeks of methotrexate treatment). Somewhere along the middle of this road, I started to pray that God would just use this situation all for his glory and that he would reveal to me what I was supposed to learn from all of this. God used the loss, the sickness, the pain, the hurt, and strengthened my faith in such awesome ways. I honestly can't pinpoint the exact moment, but I just couldn't shake the idea of adoption. It was always something we wanted to do, but I began feeling like it was something that we were supposed to pursue now rather than later. This little thought turned into a conviction! I started researching adoption, looking into agencies, looking at different country requirements, reading blogs, and reaching out to other families had gone through the adoption process. I also prayed that my heart and mind would be aligned with God's will for our family. Basically, that He would either open or close doors, and change my heart one way or another. I'm telling you, when you pray this prayer, expect to be amazed! Mark and I felt a complete peace (and excitement!) about growing our family through adoption and finally decided that we needed to move forward. And that is exactly what we did!
Where my heart once ached to carry another baby, I am now at complete peace to have a child that has grown in my heart (Gosh, we already LOVE this little girl so unbelievably much and we don't even know who she is yet)! It's been so amazing to see God at work in the little time that we have been in this adoption process. I may have had a bit of a rough year, but I wouldn't trade it for one second, especially since it was all leading us to our sweet daughter.
Phew, if you made it through that, you're awesome!
Stay tuned for part 2 where I'll talk about why we decided to adopt internationally and why we chose Ind*a!
Scripture. James 1:27 says we're all to care for orphans and widows. Whether that's sponsoring a child, being a foster parent, mission trips to orphanages, or helping out your next door neighbor who just happens to be a widow, it can look differently for each family. The Bible even talks about adoption. We believe that we have been adopted into God's family. What better way to represent the gospel of Christ than to take one of his children into our own family and love on them unconditionally, just like he loves us?
We desire more children.To really understand where we are coming from in this aspect, you would have to know that our journey to a third child has had a couple bumps in the road. Bumps that were devastating at the time, but bumps that ultimately allowed God to reveal more of His plan for our family.
I had pretty great pregnancies with both of our boys, so I never expected that future pregnancies would be any different! Our first attempt at number 3 ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I knew miscarriage was out there, and it was scary, but until it happens to you, you feel safe. Oh, how naive. My heart was broken in a way that I could have never imagined. I clung to God and his word like nobody's business during this time. We grieved about the loss of our baby, but ultimately trusted in God's plan for our family. We knew that he had more children in store for us, so when the time was right we tried again.
About 5 months later we were blessed with another pregnancy! I was excited for about 5 seconds...and then the fear set in. My mind was filled with "what ifs" and worry. But again, I knew that God had a plan, and my job was to trust and enjoy my pregnancy as best as I could! Worry doesn't come from the Lord right?! We went in for our first ultrasound appointment at 8 weeks full of excitement to see our little baby. As soon as the image projected on the screen, I knew something wasn't right. The horrifying words that I can still hear clear as day, "I'm so sorry, I can't see a baby." At that moment, my heart sank. How could this be happening again?? I'm supposed to see my baby today!! As the technician continued to take measurements, she mentioned that what she was looking at seemed abnormal and that she suspected a molar pregnancy, but wasn't quite sure. I was given a box a tissues and sent to another room to have an appointment with the midwife. I was placed on the roller coaster of uncertainty that sometimes comes along with miscarriage. Additional bloodwork, scans, appointments with a specialist...nobody quite knew what was going on, but I ended up being scheduled for a D&C a week and a half after that first ultrasound. At my follow up appointment, I got the devastating news that this was in fact, a complete molar pregnancy. There I was, grieving a second loss, and now that loss would be rubbed in my face with a weekly blood draw to monitor my hormone levels until they got down to zero (mine were over 150,000), and the possibility of a rare disease or even potential cancer (choriocarcinoma) both of which would require the use of chemotherapy drugs.
We were told to wait to try again for at least six months to a year due to GTD. I was blessed to have so many prayer warriors on my side, but it seemed like the prayers just weren't going the way we had planned. We prayed for a healthy pregnancy (ended up with another miscarriage). We prayed that it wouldn't be molar, or at least not a complete molar (and it was complete). We prayed that my levels would go down without the use of drugs (and I ended up with Gestational Trophoblastic Disease or GTD and 8 weeks of methotrexate treatment). Somewhere along the middle of this road, I started to pray that God would just use this situation all for his glory and that he would reveal to me what I was supposed to learn from all of this. God used the loss, the sickness, the pain, the hurt, and strengthened my faith in such awesome ways. I honestly can't pinpoint the exact moment, but I just couldn't shake the idea of adoption. It was always something we wanted to do, but I began feeling like it was something that we were supposed to pursue now rather than later. This little thought turned into a conviction! I started researching adoption, looking into agencies, looking at different country requirements, reading blogs, and reaching out to other families had gone through the adoption process. I also prayed that my heart and mind would be aligned with God's will for our family. Basically, that He would either open or close doors, and change my heart one way or another. I'm telling you, when you pray this prayer, expect to be amazed! Mark and I felt a complete peace (and excitement!) about growing our family through adoption and finally decided that we needed to move forward. And that is exactly what we did!
Where my heart once ached to carry another baby, I am now at complete peace to have a child that has grown in my heart (Gosh, we already LOVE this little girl so unbelievably much and we don't even know who she is yet)! It's been so amazing to see God at work in the little time that we have been in this adoption process. I may have had a bit of a rough year, but I wouldn't trade it for one second, especially since it was all leading us to our sweet daughter.
Phew, if you made it through that, you're awesome!
Stay tuned for part 2 where I'll talk about why we decided to adopt internationally and why we chose Ind*a!
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