First month of forever.

I know, I know.

I am AWFUL at this blogging stuff. The last time I updated the blog was in September. We found out that we did not pass our first court hearing and were waiting for our second hearing on the 26th of September.

Well...I have some catching up to do, but in case you didn't know...our sweet Maya Pallavi is finally HOME!! Back in the beginning of September, I really thought that we would go another Christmas without our daughter, but the Lord made a way for her to be home before Thanksgiving!

We arrived in Phoenix on November 20, 2016 at 12pm after being in India for a month!

We've had an awesome first month home! We're finding our new "normal" and she is adjusting better than we ever could have expected. Yes, there are extremely hard moments, but this adoption process is continuing to remind of the grace that we can extend because of the grace we are so freely given.



My amazing sister in love took these photos for us on Thankgiving! Never have to hold a picture frame again! It's still so surreal to see her in our family photos! We are so very thankful.

Our little Christmas blessing. We prayed for this. God is so faithful!

Things to remember:

• You weigh 33lbs. 4oz. and are 40 inches tall! You've gained about 2 lbs! 
• Your goofy dance moves.
• How absolutely terrified of the dogs you were...it took 8 days for you to be OK with them. You're still not so sure about Miles. Molly is becoming your little puppy pal! You like Mitzy...Mitzy is afraid of you! 
• You have had your share of meltdowns, but are calmed by rocking in the glider with mommy. Usually, at the end, you open up about your past. You love talking about Babies Home and all your friends there. 
• You learned how to how to pedal a tricycle.
• You're learning to speak in phrases and short sentences. You understand so much of what we say to you!
• You love music and dancing
• You are very expressive. You have the best facial expressions!
• We ordered your first pair of glasses.
• How you ask to be carried in the Tula carrier. 
• You love your baby cousins Edison and Lylah.
• You sing "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jingle Bells".

Likes:

• Minnie Mouse
• Eating (Seriously, you can eat man-sized portions of tacos and spaghetti...you also like pizza, carrots, apples, bananas, oatmeal, salmon, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and potato chips. You LOVE chips.  )
• Sleeping (you sleep from 7:30pm-7:30am!)
• Princesses and playing dress up
• Playdough and painting
• Trolls
• Playing outside
• Dancing and listening to music
• Playing with your brothers and their friends! You love all the Nerf guns, superheros, and toy cars that we have here! ;)

Dislikes:

• Cheese
• Not getting your way
• Sweet breakfast food like cinnamon rolls, muffins, or donuts (we're working on it! LOL!)
• When other people have shoes on in the house and you don't!

And as if that wasn't enough picture overload, here's a little slideshow of our first month home! 

And if not, He is still good.

Sometimes things just don't go the way we want.

Sometimes you can pray all the prayers, believe all the things, have all the hope...

And still find yourself in a place of disappointment.


This is where we are after our court hearing on Wednesday. A familiar place of sadness, disappointment, and more waiting.

Unfortunately, we did not pass in one hearing, and our next hearing is scheduled for September 26th. A little over 3 weeks from now which seems like an eternity, but I know it will come quickly.

Today, our family coordinator offered a bit of encouragement. "It's not the movement that we had hoped for, but it's movement, and any movement is still good." She's right. She will come home. It may not be in my timing, but someday we'll finally get the call to book plane tickets and hotels. Until then, we just have to keep trusting, praying, and hoping.

The crazy thing is late that night on the 30th, something in my heart knew that things wouldn't go the way I wanted. The same experience happened on the way to my OB appointments where we found out that we were miscarrying a few years ago. As I scrolled on Facebook, these two posts were literally one right after the other. God really used these words to comfort me, even before the hurt began...

"Really, right now: you're going to be okay... 

There is a plan & there is a purpose & there is a God in heaven who didn’t just ink you onto the palm of His hands but etched your name right into Himself with nails & He’s hasn’t just got your number, He’s got your heart. He sees you, hidden in Him, & you aren’t ever forgotten because God can’t forget those right in Him.

His perfect love absorbs all your fears tonight & His perfect grace carries all your burdens, & your story is a happily ever after because Christ bought your happily ever after --- so you *always know how this story ends*: 

You’re going to be okay."

-Ann Voskamp

"..sometimes it's ridiculously hard to know how to live through the stuff we're facing & you know, maybe this is it:

"Be cheerful -- no matter what; pray -- all the time; thank God -- no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." 1Thess5:18

So maybe there's our map through our Wednesday -- we will crush our complaints with thanks -- we will not give in to cynicism, we will not give up to discouragement.

Let's be cheerful, prayerful, thankful -- to keep the day from becoming: awful.

Today's game changer: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for."

-Ann Voskamp

So, here were are yet again in another month of waiting. Please continue to lift our family up in prayer. We appreciate your prayers, hugs, encouragement, and support more than you'll know. I'm praying that September 26th will be our final court hearing.

"But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." 

Daniel 3:18

Unexpected answers in the wilderness

The past couple weeks, our process has been heavy on my heart. The pain of the wait and silence were really getting to me.

The Lord was really speaking to me through His word, sermons at church, and through song. Everything that I was reading or hearing seemed to have a common theme.

Wilderness.

In Numbers I'm reading about the Israelites and how they were so hopeful to move to a land full of God's goodness. Their travels and wanderings had lasted years, but God knew what he was doing. In his sovereignty, He allowed the Israelites to take this "scenic" desert route not only for their protection, but to learn from their experiences.

In church we're going through a series called Broken People, Big God where we spend time studying how God used broken people like Abraham, Samson, and this past week, Elijah. Elijah also had to pass through a painful season in the wilderness. Literally, God sent Elijah to the wilderness where he has to rely on the Lord to be fed by ravens, drink from a brook in a land during a drought, all while being alone. He literally had nothing to do but wait on God. And trust me (and Elijah), waiting is HARD. Eventually the brook dries up and God sends Elijah elsewhere. He ends up with a widow and her son and is put in yet another situation where he must  put his trust in what little resources the Lord provides. A small amount of flour and a little jar of oil. He has to have faith in God that they won't run out. God used Elijah's wilderness waiting to protect him, provide for him and sustain him, and prepare him for the next chapter (literally, 1 Kings chapter 18) in his life when he would need to stand up against the false prophets of Baal. 

A blog I had read about Elijah said, "Wilderness seasons are brutal. But God is powerfully at work in the 1 Kings 17 season of our lives."

God uses these wilderness situations. In the wilderness we can feel His presence, worship Him in a more authentic way, and have a clearer picture of what obedience looks like. Our faith is strengthened and our relationship with Him deepens.

My wilderness looks a bit different from the Isrealites or Elijah. I'm not part of a nomadic tribe wandering around in the desert, and I'm not relying on God for food and water via ravens and brooks. However, I can relate. We've been waiting for over a year with very little updates or answers about our girl. There really is no other way to describe this wait other than brutal. It just flat out stinks. We were matched with a 2.5 year old and she's about to turn 4 in a few months.

This Monday I posted a prayer request asking for BIG MOVEMENT on my Facebook page. So here's the update you've all been waiting for, though it's a bit unexpected.

Today our family coordinator called and let us know that we do NOT need to be present for our court date. Basically, our case will continue like a "typical" Ind!an adoption. So we don't have to take two trips anymore! We do have to send yet another power of attorney document (yes, another) tomorrow to our agency and once that arrives back in Ind!a, we should be able to be registered for court and find out when our first hearing will be. We are now praying for an early July court date. We really don't have any details on how long the court process will take. We were given estimates of anywhere from 2-6 hearings over a course of 2-4 months. Hopefully we'll get more details in the next few weeks.

So there it is. Our unexpected answer. Just a reminder that God is always in control. Even when we think things are going to happen in a specific way, he allows us to see his sovereign hand in every situation. I'm at peace because I know that this was not unexpected to God. It's already passed through His hand.

Please continue the prayers. We felt them and appreciate them so much! 

Remembering :: The days leading up to our referral

I'm notorious for using this blog like a diary. I'll write and write posts because I don't want to forget how I felt at certain points in the process, but often they get left as drafts because I either never finished my thought, or because I'm waiting for the right approval before I share more details about our process. Of course, there are quite a few details that I won't be able to share until we have our girl in our arms, so you'll have to wait to hear about those!

But, I want to begin sharing some of these stories because they are such wonderful reminders of how faithful God is and how much He has sustained us through this journey.

I can't believe that I wrote these posts so long ago!

::April 30, 2015:: 

After 12 weeks of waiting, our home study was approved by Ind*a! This meant that we were finally ale to be matched with a child!

Thursday night at my women's Bible study, as I was sharing the excitement of our approval with my sweet sisters in Christ, I also asked them to pray for a few specific things:

• That we would be matched quickly.
• That we would be open to the daughter God has for us, even if her special needs were different than we expected.
• And of course, my constant prayer to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and for patience. 

On the way home from Bible study, Stephen Curtis Chapman's song, Something Beautiful was playing on the radio and though I've heard that song so many times, the chorus stuck with me and was playing on repeat in my head. Seriously. All. Night. Long.

"And God says,
I'm gonna turn it into something different,
I'm gonna turn it into something good.
I'm gonna take all the broken pieces
And make something beautiful like only I could.
So put it all in the hands of the Father
Give it up, give it all over to
The only one who can turn it into
Something beautiful,
Something really beautiful."

At that point, I was thinking, "Yes, God really does have a reason as to why everything took SO long in the beginning of our process. There is a reason our approval took over 2 months. He's got this. We WILL get our daughter, maybe not on our own timeline, but when has His timeline failed us? Never!"

::May 1, 2015::

Friday morning our family coordinator sent an email just checking to see how close we are to finishing up our dossier. (Which by the way, TWO of the three documents we needed came in the mail the day before, so YAY for answered prayers!) I let her know that we were pretty close to being done with it.

A little less than an hour later, around 9:00 AM my phone rings and I notice it's our agency. I picked it up assuming our caseworker wanted to discuss what to do once we're ready to send our dossier to her.

Instead, this regular phone call, turned in the THE phone call!!!! Just ONE day after we had finally been approved to receive a referral! 

I'll never forget the words she said:

"I have a little girl that I'd like you to consider. I think she'd be a perfect match for your family."

She began to describe the little girl known as "P", who was two and a half years old . After describing some delays we might encounter due to the particular state she's in, the need for two trips (one for court, and another for pick up), and some serious unknowns about her special need, she asked if we would like to see some pictures of her. 

Of course?! Why wouldn't we? What an answered prayer! A potential referral after only a day of being approved in the system?! Pinch me!!

What a blessing to finally open that email and see not one, but FOUR amazing pictures of this precious girl...one even being a picture of her as a newborn baby!  Let me tell you, she is SO beautiful. We were pretty much in love with this girl from the start. When Mark saw her picture for the first time he immediately said "that's our girl!" My emotions went from extreme giddiness to fear. You see, we were given no information about this sweet girl's special need other than a brief, obvious description. No why, no diagnosis, no medical report, no child study, nothing. It was slightly terrifying...but at the same time, we knew in our hearts she is the daughter God had for us.

We decided to take the weekend to really pray about her. To be honest, for a short time I struggled with the known delays we would face due to the fact that she's in a state that's known to be much slower. All I wanted was to bring home our daughter as quickly as possible. The Lord really revealed my own selfishness in that. This whole journey to a third child has NOT been on my own timeline, but I can say with complete confidence that God has worked everything out for HIS good in HIS own time. The other immediate hesitation was her special need and the lack of medical information pertaining to it. Seriously, we had four pictures, and a name. That was it.

::May 2, 2015::

I got to spend the morning at Junk in the Trunk Vintage Market with my best friend, who also happens to be a nurse. We spent the morning talking about little P and her special need. She helped me so much that day. So much back and fourth, so many whatifs, still so many unknowns. But as we talked, I began to feel at peace. I really just felt that the Lord was calling us to step out in faith and say "yes" to this little girl. To trust that He would work out all the unknowns. After talking and praying, Mark and I decided to email our family coordinator  and asked her to match us with P. She was ours and we would fight for her no matter what.

::May 4, 2015::

My phone rang at 6:05am and I used my best "I've been awake for an hour already voice" to answer when I saw that it was our family coordinator. She informed us that we were officially matched to P! She reminded us of the long wait that was ahead of us due to the region she lives in. So, here we go! We're buckling up for what I'm sure will be a huge rollercoaster of emotions and some serious practice in patience as we wait for our P to come home.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Psalms 27:14

Project Life {week 26}

I still can't get over how amazingly easy this Digital Project Life stuff is!

Last week was a good one. Lots of memories being made and documented. We were able to see some more pictures of our little one last week and they just MELTED our hearts.Unfortunately, we can't share her photos on social media, so you'll have to imagine her sweet little face under the big LOVE sticker! ;)

I think the amazing part about our photo album is that when our little Sweet P comes home, she'll be able to see that she was part of our life even before she got here. That we loved her, thought about her, prayed for her, and already considered her family.

With that being said, I am trying my best to remember that I have two little lives right here before my very eyes (three, if you count my handsome hubby) to be pouring my time, energy, and love into. I don't want to be so consumed in the adoption process that I miss out on these special moments as a family of four. It's a tough balance to maintain though when a piece of your heart is about 9,000 miles away.

Well, I've rambled enough. Here it is, week 26 of our Project Life album:

Oh hey, dossier.

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist a cheesy title. 

For those of you not familiar with adoption, I'd like to introduce to you the dossier (dos-ee-ey).

Dossier is a fancy French word for pain in the booty...not really, I kid! Basically, a dossier is a compilation of a bunch of authenticated and translated legal documents which are used to process an adoption. We had to gather birth certificates, medical exams, bank letters, financial information, tax forms, employment verification, police clearance, family photos, and a bunch of other stuff that I won't totally bore you with. Gathering and creating all the documents needed is definitely a lot of work. These papers literally took some serious blood (lab tests), sweat, tears, and major prayers.

It was SUCH a relief to finally be done collecting everything and begin making all the necessary copies to send it off to our agency (who then sends it to the orphanage)! In order to send the dossier to our agency, we needed to make 5 additional copies of our original. That's A LOT of paper!

Well, the good news is that a copy of our dossier arrived at our little Sweet P's orphanage late last week! (Sidenote: I figured out the cutest little nickname for our girl that incorporates her beautiful Indian name! She will still be Maya, but I also want her current name to be a part of her when she comes home. That's a whole separate blog post!) 

Please pray with us that the people at the orphanage who will essentially be "meeting" us on paper, will see just how perfectly Sweet P will fit into our family. We are also praying that they will send us electronic versions of her medical reports AND the originals so we can really get the process going. My mama heart is also dying to know her height and weight! It's so hard to try and guess how big she is just from pictures! Right now, we are stuck waiting for these documents. So when you think of us, please lift us up in prayer. We would really appreciate it!

Good news!

The past few weeks, I've really felt the many prayers that I know were being lifted up. I wasn't feeling as anxious or discouraged which was a huge improvement from a few weeks ago! Waiting for approval was always in the back of my mind, but I had gotten to the point where it wasn't consuming my thoughts. I knew we would eventually be approved and I was just going to have to be patient. 

So today when my phone rang at 6:59 am, I honestly expected it to be my mom calling me. To my surprise, I looked down to see our caseworkers name!

"Hi Megan! I have good news!! Your family is approved"

Ahhh, like music to my ears. My heart was beating faster, my palms were sweaty, and the grin on my face made my cheeks hurt! 

We found out that our home study must have accidentally been skipped over. It happens sometimes. I trust that God has a reason we were skipped over and that he is leading us on the perfect path to our daughter. 

So, what's next you ask? First, we're going to celebrate this small victory! Then, we buckle up and prepare for more (you guessed it) waiting.

We are now officially able to be matched. This can take anywhere from a few days to many months. Our caseworker will search the database for us every day to look for a match based on the special needs that we are open to. 

We can't even begin to tell you how excited we are to finally to see the face of our sweet little Maya. This girl is so loved. She is prayed for and talked about daily in our home and among our family members and dear friends. She even has some pretty little dresses waiting for her in her closet! :)

We ask that you'd continue to keep our family in your prayers and have some specific prayer requests:

• We are waiting for our USCIS approval and some documents getting apostilled in two different states. Please pray that we would get the approval and documents soon so we can finish our dossier. 
• Be praying for a referral to come to us quickly! You can also pray that we would be open to the daughter God has for us.
• Prayers for patience and peace during the waiting would definitely be appreciated. 
• Always pray for our little Maya. We may not know who she is, but God does.