And if not, He is still good.

Sometimes things just don't go the way we want.

Sometimes you can pray all the prayers, believe all the things, have all the hope...

And still find yourself in a place of disappointment.


This is where we are after our court hearing on Wednesday. A familiar place of sadness, disappointment, and more waiting.

Unfortunately, we did not pass in one hearing, and our next hearing is scheduled for September 26th. A little over 3 weeks from now which seems like an eternity, but I know it will come quickly.

Today, our family coordinator offered a bit of encouragement. "It's not the movement that we had hoped for, but it's movement, and any movement is still good." She's right. She will come home. It may not be in my timing, but someday we'll finally get the call to book plane tickets and hotels. Until then, we just have to keep trusting, praying, and hoping.

The crazy thing is late that night on the 30th, something in my heart knew that things wouldn't go the way I wanted. The same experience happened on the way to my OB appointments where we found out that we were miscarrying a few years ago. As I scrolled on Facebook, these two posts were literally one right after the other. God really used these words to comfort me, even before the hurt began...

"Really, right now: you're going to be okay... 

There is a plan & there is a purpose & there is a God in heaven who didn’t just ink you onto the palm of His hands but etched your name right into Himself with nails & He’s hasn’t just got your number, He’s got your heart. He sees you, hidden in Him, & you aren’t ever forgotten because God can’t forget those right in Him.

His perfect love absorbs all your fears tonight & His perfect grace carries all your burdens, & your story is a happily ever after because Christ bought your happily ever after --- so you *always know how this story ends*: 

You’re going to be okay."

-Ann Voskamp

"..sometimes it's ridiculously hard to know how to live through the stuff we're facing & you know, maybe this is it:

"Be cheerful -- no matter what; pray -- all the time; thank God -- no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." 1Thess5:18

So maybe there's our map through our Wednesday -- we will crush our complaints with thanks -- we will not give in to cynicism, we will not give up to discouragement.

Let's be cheerful, prayerful, thankful -- to keep the day from becoming: awful.

Today's game changer: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for."

-Ann Voskamp

So, here were are yet again in another month of waiting. Please continue to lift our family up in prayer. We appreciate your prayers, hugs, encouragement, and support more than you'll know. I'm praying that September 26th will be our final court hearing.

"But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." 

Daniel 3:18

It's almost court time!!

I can't believe that this day has come.

We've been praying and waiting for this day. And now we are  literally HOURS away from our first court hearing.

It's a bit surreal. August 31st could be the day that our little sweet P will become our daughter.

We pray that God would move mightily in that court room tonight while we are sleeping. That our case would be heard. That He would guide the judge's heart and mind to grant us verbal approval. That we would be one giant step closer to our daughter.

After 26 months in process we are SO ready to go get our precious girl.

Please be praying with us tonight! We will be sure to keep everyone updated as soon as we find out anything!

We appreciate your prayers, support, and encouragement more than you will ever know! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

She turns 4 in a month.

Last year when we celebrated with Indian food, cake, and family, I thought that 2016's celebration would include a precious little girl.

With our August 31st court date, having her home for her birthday is pretty much impossible. I say pretty much, because I know God is powerful, and if it's His will, we will be celebrating with her. But, realistically and practically, I'm preparing myself to celebrate another birthday spent apart. 

However, I have to remind myself that one month from now, we'll be much closer to getting on a plane! Closer to embracing our sweet girl and never letting go. Closer to hearing her voice for the first time. Closer to telling her how much we love her. Closer to thanking her caregivers for loving on our girl while we couldn't. Closer to starting our forever with her.

I pray that this month leading up to her birthday, that she truly feels the love of Christ deep down in her little soul. That she has a joy, peace, and excitement about her new family. 

We're coming Sweet P, we really are. 

Happy almost birthday, my baby girl!! 

Another month has come and gone...

I've said it before. Adoption is hard. Lately, the waiting is taking a toll on my heart.

I am constantly thinking about P. I walk a fine line (not always that well, might I add) of keeping my focus with the family that's living right here with me in our home, and daydreaming about our precious daughter all the way in Ind*a. I feel so torn. I long for the day when we're all under one roof.

At the beginning of this month, the POA that we sent arrived where it needed to be and I had the hope that we would finally get the court date that we had been waiting for. Well, the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into a month. That month has come and gone.

June came and went. July has done the same. Unfortunately, we are still without a court date.

I feel so discouraged, so drained, so tired of waiting, and the worst and possibly ugliest of emotions...so jealous. I see families that were matched after us traveling to bring their little ones home, or have been home for a while now. Yes, I rejoice with them. Each and every child home to their forever families is a huge victory that must be celebrated, but I wonder why we aren't celebrating this victory yet? Why after 25 months in process, and 15 months since we've laid eyes on our precious daughter is she still not home?

I'm really trying to lean into Jesus. I'm asking and praying for His strength to sustain me in this time where I feel so hopeless and impatient.

I know this post sounds so gloomy and depressing, but some days, that's reality. I want to be real with you all and share both the mountains and the valleys that I experience throughout this adoption process. It just so happens that we've been hanging out in the valley for a while.

I know that we won't be waiting forever. Someday, we'll finally be boarding that plane, driving to the orphanage, and holding our girl for the first time.

Please continue to pray with us. Pray that AUGUST will be the month that we have our first hearing. Pray for a quick court process so that we can bring our girl HOME!

Unexpected answers in the wilderness

The past couple weeks, our process has been heavy on my heart. The pain of the wait and silence were really getting to me.

The Lord was really speaking to me through His word, sermons at church, and through song. Everything that I was reading or hearing seemed to have a common theme.

Wilderness.

In Numbers I'm reading about the Israelites and how they were so hopeful to move to a land full of God's goodness. Their travels and wanderings had lasted years, but God knew what he was doing. In his sovereignty, He allowed the Israelites to take this "scenic" desert route not only for their protection, but to learn from their experiences.

In church we're going through a series called Broken People, Big God where we spend time studying how God used broken people like Abraham, Samson, and this past week, Elijah. Elijah also had to pass through a painful season in the wilderness. Literally, God sent Elijah to the wilderness where he has to rely on the Lord to be fed by ravens, drink from a brook in a land during a drought, all while being alone. He literally had nothing to do but wait on God. And trust me (and Elijah), waiting is HARD. Eventually the brook dries up and God sends Elijah elsewhere. He ends up with a widow and her son and is put in yet another situation where he must  put his trust in what little resources the Lord provides. A small amount of flour and a little jar of oil. He has to have faith in God that they won't run out. God used Elijah's wilderness waiting to protect him, provide for him and sustain him, and prepare him for the next chapter (literally, 1 Kings chapter 18) in his life when he would need to stand up against the false prophets of Baal. 

A blog I had read about Elijah said, "Wilderness seasons are brutal. But God is powerfully at work in the 1 Kings 17 season of our lives."

God uses these wilderness situations. In the wilderness we can feel His presence, worship Him in a more authentic way, and have a clearer picture of what obedience looks like. Our faith is strengthened and our relationship with Him deepens.

My wilderness looks a bit different from the Isrealites or Elijah. I'm not part of a nomadic tribe wandering around in the desert, and I'm not relying on God for food and water via ravens and brooks. However, I can relate. We've been waiting for over a year with very little updates or answers about our girl. There really is no other way to describe this wait other than brutal. It just flat out stinks. We were matched with a 2.5 year old and she's about to turn 4 in a few months.

This Monday I posted a prayer request asking for BIG MOVEMENT on my Facebook page. So here's the update you've all been waiting for, though it's a bit unexpected.

Today our family coordinator called and let us know that we do NOT need to be present for our court date. Basically, our case will continue like a "typical" Ind!an adoption. So we don't have to take two trips anymore! We do have to send yet another power of attorney document (yes, another) tomorrow to our agency and once that arrives back in Ind!a, we should be able to be registered for court and find out when our first hearing will be. We are now praying for an early July court date. We really don't have any details on how long the court process will take. We were given estimates of anywhere from 2-6 hearings over a course of 2-4 months. Hopefully we'll get more details in the next few weeks.

So there it is. Our unexpected answer. Just a reminder that God is always in control. Even when we think things are going to happen in a specific way, he allows us to see his sovereign hand in every situation. I'm at peace because I know that this was not unexpected to God. It's already passed through His hand.

Please continue the prayers. We felt them and appreciate them so much! 

May 4th

Today is the day one year ago that we were officially matched in the system with our little sweet P.

We knew the moment we saw her face on a Friday morning, that she was ours. Despite the unknowns, (and there were A LOT) we made the decision to email our family coordinator Saturday night and request to be matched with her. By 6am Monday, May 4th, 2015 my phone was ringing. Our family coordinator was calling to let us know that we were officially matched with P.

What a year it's been. I feel like we're on this crazy rollercoaster and we have NO idea when the ride will end. But it's also an amazing rollercoaster, and I feel blessed to be on this ride called adoption. The highs and lows have taught me so much about Jesus. His longsuffering patience. His unwavering love. His pure goodness.

We stepped out in blind faith this day one year ago. We felt a peace that only God could bring to our hearts in this situation. A peace that allowed us to move forward without any real information other than 4 pictures.

Today, one year after our match, we are waiting for a court date to attend. This is where a judge in Ind*a will legally make her what we've known her to be for a year now. Our precious, chosen, daughter. A Salonga.


Here is how you can be praying for us:

• We ask that you pray for our attorney. We won't share her name with you, but God knows who she is. Please pray that she will receive our affidavit and register our case in court so we can have a date set. 

• Please be in prayer for our court date. We are boldly praying for a June date. 

• Pray that our judge would be for adoption and would grant us verbal and written orders in record time. 

• Pray for our last moments of a family of four. That all of our hearts would be prepared for this new transition to a daughter and a little sister. 

• Please continue to pray for P. Pray for her little heart. What she has known for 3.5 years is about the come to an end. The loss and pain that she will experience is so huge. Pray that we would be able to be a source of comfort for her and we could help her to handle her grief. 

I'll leave you all with this picture of her. I could stare that those adorable little feet and that cute denim skirt all day! 

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Project Life {week 26}

I still can't get over how amazingly easy this Digital Project Life stuff is!

Last week was a good one. Lots of memories being made and documented. We were able to see some more pictures of our little one last week and they just MELTED our hearts.Unfortunately, we can't share her photos on social media, so you'll have to imagine her sweet little face under the big LOVE sticker! ;)

I think the amazing part about our photo album is that when our little Sweet P comes home, she'll be able to see that she was part of our life even before she got here. That we loved her, thought about her, prayed for her, and already considered her family.

With that being said, I am trying my best to remember that I have two little lives right here before my very eyes (three, if you count my handsome hubby) to be pouring my time, energy, and love into. I don't want to be so consumed in the adoption process that I miss out on these special moments as a family of four. It's a tough balance to maintain though when a piece of your heart is about 9,000 miles away.

Well, I've rambled enough. Here it is, week 26 of our Project Life album: