Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Remembering: May 1st, 2015

I'm just going to come out and give you a warning: this may get long! Proceed with caution...or coffee! 

I never dreamed that anything would happen. I knew being matched could take anywhere from a few days to months. I was counting on months. I was completely unsuspecting when I got a call from our family coordinator on that Friday morning. I figured she was calling to ask another question about our dossier, or ask for some more paperwork.

I have never been so happy to be wrong completely wrong. 

The moment that our family coordinator asked me if I had a some time to talk, I knew something was up. Then, the magical words were spoken. "Well, I have a little girl that I think would be perfect for your family. Would you like to hear about her?!" 

Ummm, yes please!! This was the moment we were waiting for! 

She began to give me basic details over the phone about this little girl:

Her name is Pallavi.
Her estimated birth date is September 17, 2012. She's 2.5.
She's at an orphanage in Machilipatnam, Andhra Pradesh.
Her adoption would require two trips and likely, a longer process.
She had a tumor in her left eye which was operated on and removed.

Her file was bare. No medical reports, no child study reports. Typically, a file would include these things for prospective parents to review. The above information was all we had.

Of course, my mind was spinning with so many questions.  "What kind of tumor was it?", "Was it cancerous?", "Can she see?" "Did she have chemotherapy or radiation?" "Is that a real eye, or a prosthetic eye?"

The only response our family coordinator had for me was. "I don't have any other information to give you right now."

Towards the end of our conversation, she told me that she did have four pictures of her that she would send if we wanted.  These were the first four pictures that we saw of our daughter.







When we saw those pictures, our hearts melted. Mark immediately said how beautiful she was, and this mama just couldn't get over how sweet her little lips were! She was precious.

After staring at her pictures for a while, I knew I had seen her little newborn face before. In the beginning of our process our agency had a password protected waiting child photo listing (they have since removed this due to remaining compliant with India's guidelines for sharing orphan's photos) that I would look at pretty often. I had seen Pallavi's baby picture before. I remember clicking to learn more about the sweet little baby with a blurry picture.

I remember seeing "tumor, vision impairment/partial blindness, 2.5"

I remember thinking "scary, not so sure about serious vision issues, and that 2.5 seemed old."

I still think it's funny that I remember her so specifically. I think it's definitely one of my favorite Proverbs 16:9 (we make plans, but the Lord directs our steps) moments. She was not quite what I had imagined for our family. Honestly, I imagined being matched with a child that was around a year old...maybe bringing a 2 year old home. Thankfully, He is in control and I am not.

We began to fall in love. We studied those four photos like it was our job. Since it was Friday, we took the rest of the weekend to pray for wisdom and guidance and clarity. The fact was, we had seen this sweet girl. Even with all the unknowns, we didn't know how we could walk away from her...